Entries about love

Coming home has been quite the transitional experience .
From hot to cold, solitary to social, and so much more.

I've realized that if I tell my students in yoga to speak their heart and only accept what is the truth for them and what is best for them. I need to walk the walk. You need to be completely honest with yourself, about yourself and your life and what's happening, in order to implement progressive change into your life.

Change is a powerful thing, and usually leading up to a change I can feel it coming.
As I arrived home there was an extremely powerful shift happening astrologically. A super moon, a new moon and solar eclipse all at once, can be a special moment to ignite dreams and create. It is a symbol of new beginnings.

Beginnings and endings are vital and monumental for personal growth. When we feel one of these transitions coming and we fight it, we suffer.

I thought I was coming home, to allot of firmiliarity , allot of work, and the same old. But instead I implemented some of what I learned while away, to start a conversation with myself about facing some change I've felt coming for a long time, about really following my bliss and the first step to getting what I want, even if I don't know what it is, is getting rid of what I don't want. And this is in every aspect of our lives, friends, relationship, thoughts, jobs, foods, state of being.

So here I am, starting from scratch, new outlook, new tatoo ?, new work schedule, new plan, new self improvements, new habits. And the new will only allow the best. This is an ambitious statement of a paragraph to make but basically all Im saying is Im clearing out. Starting from blank I can create a canvas of anything I want. And I see that the more I close doors of insecurity, a million new ones open to thank me for taking that step. When you are moving from a place of love, the universe will support you with goodness and give you so many reasons to smile after one moment to frown.

This being said, I came home for one week, and began planning new things, one of the first things I have in the works that is announced is a 7 week workshop series at ItsWell Yoga in Wildwood.
This beautiful studio space is filled with such loving, happy, open students. And is created by my dear hardworking friend Kristel Fillmore. It is safe to say this studio is one of my absolute favorites I have ever worked with. ACROVINYASA goodness will be filling their walls every Thursday night soon!
And the day I reached out to Kristel to plan this, her husband found out he couldn't go on her ski and yoga retreat that weekend. So BOOM an available space opened up for this retreat leaving in two days, and the lift tickets, food, lodging was all set.
Here I am left with a blank work schedule, and an opportunity to ski again, connect with new yogis, and teach ACROVINYASA!!! Besides, it was still cold when I got home, surfings a while away for me, and I make do with it what I've got.
So DUH
Off I goto Vermont!

In other news, these few days home have been wonderful, seeing those of you who Id missed. I Got to see my city again and attend AC beer fest and Garden State Film Festival. Came home just in time to celebrate the love of one of my favorite couples kelly and Stephen, kuddos on following that bliss and making that change. And I am still feeling grateful to all of you who have supported this journey and this growth in anyway. I love you all!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Life treats me beautifully when I let go of my plans and adjust to the one already out there for me.
I am letting change flow freely and being open to what is ahead. I know the universe has my back.

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When I was searching for where this winter would lead me in terms of new travel and education, I was clearly guided to Bali for ACROVINYASA Level 1 teacher training. Between cheap flights, to good timing, to the experience I was in need of and location meeting the activities I was looking for, it just laid out in front of me. I've been trying to flow with the universe rather than fight it and so I signed up and booked a flight. But up untill the day I got to Padang Bai I was a bit unsure about this whole acro yoga thing.

I love acro yoga, it's fun and I had taken a few workshops and learned from friends here and there. But I was always just a stand in flyer for John, Little Fox, Shannan, whomever I met long the way, to throw me up in the air. I kept wondering why me? How am I going to teach this practice? And why do I get the privilege of learning from two of the best acro yogis I know of in the world?
I assumed everyone who would be at the training would be incredible yogis with a strong passion for AcroYoga just like my friend John from Upper Township who encouraged me to follow this through. John lives for acro and meanwhile for me, I really enjoy the practice of yoga more, and acro is fun to compliment it with. I kept wondering why ACROVINYASA and not ashtanga or something I practice more often?
I wondered this untill the moment I arrived at Bloo Lagoon Resort.
Side note; The place we are staying is made up of a group of 25 houses, a pool, restaurant and spa built on a hillside over looking the tourqiouse waters of the Lombok straight in padang bai east bali. The setting is a gift from nature and the houses are simple wooden structures and thatched roofs that maximize air flow and the connection to the out doors. It was all built without cutting into any land and reserves the nature make up of the land. The resort keeps an eco friendly philosophy of doing more with less and their slogan is 'Bloo is the New Green'. Basically it's fucking awesome. And I have my own bed with an ocean view, kitchen , and outdoor shower. It is very... Alive with wild life of all sorts. Snakes, giant black bumble bees that I've never seen, and there are no real enclosed ceilings in the villas so anything is fair game. I was told to keep my food all in the fridge and put any valuables away because nothing is safe from the monkeys. I amFeeling quite spoiled with my own kitchen and bed compared to the hostels I've been in . Breakfast is still included but rather than white toast and an egg, it's a buffet spread of exotic fruits museli, rice, noodles ect. I load up on green juices, omlettes and peanut butter after our 90 min morning vinyasa and meditation.

ANYWAY; Upon arrival we did the whole introduction thing like you would in any training, yet Honza and Claudine have fun games and ways of doing all this such as ninja attack, screaming toes, and also treated us to an authentic Balinese dance at our opening ceremony.
I was right about it, everyone is an incredible yogi, and everyone loves acro yoga. But in a different way than I thought, I am not even close to the least experienced, and being an incredible Yogi doesn't mean you have to be able to balance on your hands for three minutes.(although we have quite a few of those, I've been introduced to the world of handstand max outs YIKES) . Not everyone is 'instafamous' however there are some with a good following and it is still Surreal to me being taught by YogaBeyond and being in a training side by side with Laura Sakorya. Everyone is far nicer than I could ever imagine from their instagrams.

Honza had a good point explaining that his experiences of teacher trainings are lots of work, and then on the last day everyone usually gets together and has fun. On this last day you get to really talk and bond and make such great connections and then the next day boom it's over and you say goodbye.
So Honza and Claudine have been thoughtful enough to consider this and day 2 was a bit of a fun day, to ease us into things and allow us to make friendships. Which is probably a good thing to do before you trust someone throwing your body in the air with the probability that you make end up with your head near their crotch or feet in their face.
To start the day we had a morning session, an intro if you will to ACROVINYASA. Which gave me the answer I had been looking for of why I am here...

ACROVINYASA
Is a practice designed by Honza and Claudine Lafond of YogaBeyond that encorporates Vinyasa Yoga, Breath, Inversion Training, and AcroYoga with L based flying.
Many times my experience of AcroYoga was either paying to learn front bird again, or going to a jam where I'm being thrown up in the air into acrobatic postures, that are awesome, but I'm not sure how safe or yogic it was.
This practice was the first time I was able to really see the parallel of yoga whilst flying or basing another person. Both types, Acro Yoga and ACROVINYASA are incredible practices depending on what you are looking for. But ACROVINYASA to me seems like the first acro yoga practice, I can see being placed into a studio as a safe class on a regular basis.
What they have created here is absolutely incredible and totally ahead of the frontier and I couldn't be more psyched to be a part of it. I didn't fully understand what I was walking into here and that I would be one of the very first ACROVINYASA certified instructors in the world. I now feel like I've found the acro yoga that I can connect with and feel comfortable teaching. And admire the creativity of Honza and Claudine so much to create this.

Walking away from that morning session smiling ear to ear I was feeling connected to this training.
We then visited the near by temple on a full moon of Virgo which allows for transformation and made offerings to the temple . Next we then headed down to the beach and did a bit of body surfing and acro play. You can imagine the look on the locals faces when about 34 white folk come down and start stacking bodies on feet. And you can imagine the look on my face when I am casually handstanding with Laura on the beach, whom was one of the very first Yoga instagram accounts I've ever followed. After the beach Honza and Claudine brought us to a local restaurant with cucumber water and watermelon juice waiting for us, which was later accompanied by beers and sangria. We had a big group dinner getting to know each other over enjoying cocktails, and taking underwater pool pictures in the salt water dive pool.
We ended the day with a nice pow wow at Honza and Claudine's Villa.
We've had many conversations about authenticity. Because in many yoga trainings there are rules about teacher and student relationships, about not having sex or eating meat. drinking maybe bed times. Honza and Claudine decided not to set these rules because it is not a part of who they are. Which is respectable because how unauthentic would it be to have us be celibate, sober, vegans, and then for them to Goto their villa and not necessarily live that life. They also know that many of us don't live here or near here and have traveled halfway around the world. So thoughtfully they are trying to allow us to get the best experience of Bali while we're here but still covering a whole lot of material. So we have allot of freedom, yet the group understands everything in moderation and respects that we will be going upside down every morning. We also always still have the power to make our own choices and make this whatever experience we would like to get out of it. Honza and Claudine are also always asking for feedback and are open to any suggestions and changes as this is their first training. At our night chat someone suggested that we share the best and worst part of our days in a circle. It was a great exercise seeing that most everybody's worst part was something so insignificant like dealing with some crazy bugs, or seeing a snake in paradise. When it came around to me I expressed that I felt like I finally got my answer to if I belong here. That morning discussion and finding out what ACROVINYASA is a speak ignited in me. I've realized what an opportunity I have to be at the forefront of something amazing and intend to take full advantage. I also said that I appreciated Honza and Claudine's originality. They've created a training that is different like any other, not only in the practice, but because of their originality.
They balance guru and friend perfectly and don't hide from us who they really are. Being able to share a beer with your students and have them feel comfortable confiding in you, yet maintaining authority and respect, is a crazy balance to maintain, and yet they do it beautifully. Balance seems to be their forte in just about everything and I know I can learn so much from these people. I realize why the universe led me here the whole time, and am happy I didn't question it. You are always where you are meant to be. ✨?

I am surrounded by magic and miracles. Everything I need comes to me at the perfect time. Feeling like I am just where I belong and no matter where you may be right now if you've actually read to the bottom of this, know that you are exactly where you should be as well. How do I know? Because you're there!

Namaste ?✨?

Our altar

May I just take a moment to state something obvious?

I just love yoga.
I love the places it brings me too and the people it brings too me.
I am enjoying so much my short in between time at home. In my little studio at the zen den I've sharing laughs and growth with a team of great yogis. Got lots of love and positive feed back from my one class.
And I am just being surrounded by love and support.
Its days like these, that make me feel that love, that reassure me that this is what my heart and soul beats for. I just love yoga. I can't wait for this training and to continue to be a student and learn so much more over the next few weeks.
Many friends from the states have connected me with future friends in bali.
I have had an enormous amount of support and love in the past week from friends and family. Some things fell out of the sky to help make this trip happen, and then something would go wrong, and then somewhere it would be made up for like a miracle. I don't know if that makes any sense but basically what I'm saying is what Ya loose on the Ferris wheel Ya pick up on the merry go round.
I know I'm not going away forever, or really that long at all, but it is the furthest I've gone from home by myself and I am excited.
After rockin a clancys karaoke night with the girls, a relaxing day with my best friend Ashley, last day of work at lucky kids, and one more class at zen den, Brittany and Lindsey came over to send me off with advice and love and help with last minute packing.
Feeling so much gratitude.

Oh and Ashley has pointed out that it's great Im trying to learn the local language, but probably making the first word I learn TAKSU - life force, spirit, God force. Wasnt too practical . So because I arrive in bali at 625 am on Sunday today's word will be SELAMAT PAGI - good morning

But for now SELAMAT MALAM - goodnight .

Leaving Lindsey

Airplane essentials

Having a week back in New Jersey gives me a nice opportunity to detoxify before I leave on another adventure. I also have a very slow work week so I am going to seize this time to really concentrate on my health. I generally live a healthy lifestyle but I have been lacking a discipline I used to have. So its time to get this mani pura chakra fired up!

Something that I need to keep in mind when going through a cleansing period is that I workout because I love my body and want it to be strong and healthy, not because I hate it and want to change it. I used to motivate myself with unrealistic pictures of other women and put myself down in order to motivate myself to lose weight. All that did was make me miserable and put me in one of the most unhealthy stages of my life. So I remind myself now, that when striving for discipline and self improvement it is important to remember that you are still absolutely perfect just the way you are.
I found this nice reminder yesterday on the internet in an article called ’15 Damaging Myths About Life We Should All Stop Believing.’ that a friend posted on facebook.
Number 9. There is something wrong with us.
We are plagued by feelings of inadequateness and worthlessness, postponing self-acceptance and self-love until a day in the future when we're thinner, wealthier, more confident and more popular.You are perfect and complete exactly as you are. Even when you are striving to improve and grow, you are complete. As the Buddhist saying goes, "We are all perfect as we are, and we could all use a little work."

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6324636

So for me, health and body image is something I am constantly exploring and looking for a balance in but I always love myself first, and remind myself that I live a healthy life and I am a beautiful healthy individual. Healthy doesn't mean hours at the gym. Healthy isn't how shredded your Abbs are or how big your muscles are. Being healthy involves your mind spirit and heart just as much as it involves your body. Sometimes it might mean getting to a more balanced state of being, maybe taking care of joint health, managing stress or starting a mediation practice. And each persons version of healthy is different.
And so I ask myself what does health mean for me right now? What do I need? Of course my fitness star cute mother had a diet program ready for us to try together the moment I got off of the plane. And so I agreed, it is always nice when you have a training partner to hold you accountable. We are cutting out sugar and carbs for the next week and going on a mostly lean protein and veggie cleanse. Not my usual choice of diet as I love fruit but I can try it for one week as its good to beat the sugar addiction and you are allowed a glass of red at the end of the day. Ha ! Its rather similar to the paleo diet, which many people think this is wrong and a vegan diet is right with lots of fruits veggies and grains, for others it’s just whatever doctor oz is putting out that week. Everyone has their own version of health, each persons variation is different. And occasional sweets or pizza or drinks, don’t make you ‘unhealthy’ but sadness and negativity will. Instead I try my best and stay positive, if I mess up, I forgive myself and choose the present moment. It takes time and effort to be disciplined and healthy, but it also is rewarding and worth it. Find healthy foods you like, find exercise that makes you excited, find a lifestyle that keeps you happy, and change it up whenever necessary. Find a version of health that works for you =).
Super Bowl Sunday may test me, but it feels good to feel dedicated again. Missing the warm and sun, but breaking out some old workouts, dedication to my daily yoga practice, and clean eating has me feeling very sore but good.

Todays Bahasa Indonesia word : Delicious - ENAK

I've come to love Florida more than I ever thought I would.
I used to think florida was "flat" in every sense of the word. Boring, no waves, no mountains, Flat was Florida 'word'. I was spoiled by lots of time in San Diego and told my parents I would never move to the sunshine state.

But I think, that if you spend enough time in any place or with any person, with an open mind and heart, you can grow to love them.
My dear and wise friend Sydney shared with me this experiment a few days ago, that if you ask almost anyone, this series of 36 questions and look them in the eye for a few minutes, you will begin to feel love for them. Even a stranger.
Similarly, once I put my guard down about a certain place, or person, I am able to love and feel comfortable.
It's all about what we choose to see.
It's about choosing love over the ego.
These questions in the experiment get so deep that you must let your guard down and speak from the heart rather than ego if you're being honest. It helps to show you the other person,raw, unguarded, with an open heart, which stimulates love.
My ego would say florida is lacking mountains and it's boring, filled with old people and it gets too hot. California is much more progressive, has great waves, mild temps and mountains.

But my heart can now see the laid back, warm, friendly, energy of Florida. Me and Derrick had no problem finding progressive cool places whilst cruising down 95 to Hozier with the sun beating down on us. They do get waves and the water is always warm enough to not own a wet suit. You can find positivity and great people, anywhere you go. I may not know where I will end up permanently, but because of friends and family I've been drawn to Florida quite a bit the past year and a half, and I love it.
It's all about being present where I am, and choosing to see the love.

Now I head back to Jersey where I will choose to see the love of being back at my gym and studio, having my own room and seeing firmilar faces before I leave again! I even ended up sitting right next to two family friends on the plane home Mr. And Mrs. Mooney!

Feeling grateful for my travel buddy Derrick ?, everyone who welcomed us, reconnecting with old friends, the warm weather and waves serving as a warm up for bali! I am grateful for being able to choose love. I am grateful for being privileged enough to live this life and travel. As Hozier says ' I'm so full of love I can barely eat.'
(Which might not be a bad thing after last week ?)